New vlog! Wed 24th April Illamasqua Mystery Box

Hey guys,

I made a new Vlog today and you can check it out here.

I this vlog I talk about what I have done in the last two weeks, because I missed out last week due to feeling like crap.

So I mention in the vlog that I bought an Illamasqua Eyes and Nails Mystery Selection Box, the box was gorgeous, but I actually forgot to take a proper picture in the excitement!

So I got:

Illamasqua Liquid Metal in Electrum
Illamasqua Powder Eyeshadow in Synth
Illamasqua Powder Eyeshadow in Savage
Illamasqua Precision Ink in Glister
Illamasqua Nail Laquer in Rampage
Illamasqua Nail Laquer in Radium

I also bought the Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion in Champagne.

Here is a pic of the whole caboodle.

We also had family over to visit us in our new home, and luckily for us the Sun came out! We had tonnes of fun, checking out the local resturants and bars, and soaking up the sun on the beach. We also went for a walk over the South Downs, which was really quite pleasant, and the little lambs were so cute!

That's it for now but I am sure that I will probably get around to uploading one of my other videos and doing a blog to match!

Tarah!

Trollbyt

Health answers, and job hunting

I have been having tests done since last year to determine the cause of my everlasting tiredness. I have finally got some answers, I had some blood tests in late January, and had to wait until last Friday for the results. I phoned up the doctor's surgery on Friday and was told that the results were all normal, so I asked for an appointmnet, which I had on Monday. It turns out that I have some autoimmune disease which attacks my thyroid gland, and as a result I have developed hypothyroidism. This explains why I have put on so much weight recently, and also why I am so tired, and lethargic, all of the time. Alot of people say that I have not put on much weight, but I believe that this is due to my healthy diet and physical job. I have put on around 13kgs, since I was last happy with my weight, and being short, this has made me a bit bulky. I am a bit of a health freak, and I like to be an athletic and healthy shape. I know that hypothyroidism causes weight gain, through a dibillitated metabolism. I have researched metabolism boosting diets, that may help me to regain some control of my weight. I came across some interesting facts, I didn't know for example that some foods can infact cause your thyroid gland to swell and eventually become ineffective. As I have no horomone treatment at the moment, I have decided to attempt to cut these foods for my diet in order to see if any difference is made. The foods that apparently cause swelling of the thyroid gland are; Broccoli, Peanuts, Strawberries, Soya, and Spinach. These are all foods I love! I will post further blogs on my progress and any further dietry changes that I am going to make. Obviously this diet change is only a trial and I will probably start to re-introduce these foods into my diet once I am on effective horomone treatment, or when my hormones have balanced naturally. I am a bit put off that I haven't acctually been told an awful lot by my GP, I was only told to return in 6 months for a blood test, which is a bit of a pain. I just want to get this fatigue sorted, and get on with my life.

I have also been applying for endless jobs, so I can actually live with my husband once again. I went to my first interview the other day, I didn't get that job, but at least it was experience. Hopefully I will find a job soon, as I am going slightly insane here!

That's all I have for now, so I am going to start working on my French course.

Trollbyt

Stress, the how and why

So, as I mentioned in my earlier blog, I am a little stressed. I am going to do my best to explain why.

Grief:- This is a largely contributing factor. I lost my grandfather, just before christmas, his death was a shock to all of us, yes he was elderly, but we just didn't expect it. We were looking forward to a lovely christmas meal with both grandparents. Another extended family member died the day after, I can't begin to imagine what it is like for the people who were close to both of them. My mum is obviously grief stricken at the moment, and it is hard to see her go through that. I just wish I wasn't so busy with work, I would be spending time with her, helping her the heal the wounds. I could probably do more to help, but I just can't take that burden with all my baggage.

Work stress:- I have a good job, I just don't like it. I really can't deal with shifts, I suffer from insomnia at the best of times. I can't and won't take sleeping tablets, because I just wouldn't be able to function during the day. It's a manual job and the shifts are long. I hate hospitals anyway, and I have to deal with certain bodily fuctions that I really detest. If I had an office job, I would definitely be more in my element. I am not saying I hate my job, because I would be a liar, I do actually like my job, I love the satisfaction of helping people in their time of need, but it's an emotionally challenging job. Particularly when a patient you have been caring for dies, and you have to prepare the body for the morgue. That really brings alot of sadness. I had to grow up fast when I started doing this sort of job, I really bow down to the people who make a career of it. I know alot of people say, 'why do you work in a field you don't like?', well the answer is I ahve no choice. I need a job, this is a field that always needs workers, and the fact is I'm good at my job, else I wouldn't be in the emergency department. I am taking this sort of work as a means to an end, I am doing my degree whilst I work and I will eventually wind up in my dream job. You can never get anywhere with your backside plastered to the sofa.

Being a student:- I have a full time manual shift workers job, and I am studying for a Batchelors in Modern Foreign Languages. The Languages being French and German, and I am considering doing the beginner course in Welsh as a minor. I am also teaching myself Swedish and Finnish. It's tough going, considering I can barely speak a word of French and my year 2 course in French started on Saturday. I went to Belgium and Luxembourg as an impromptu honeymoon lat year and after a few days I started to get to grips with the langauge, but for some reason I always forget French. This year I am going to try really hard to get some half decent grades, and the fact I find French the hardest of all my languages might help me to get my self in gear. I have always been able to bluff my way through courses and exams, not anymore!

Owning my own business:- I own a business in alternative fashion, it's kind of on the back burner at the moment, but I hope to drag myself to the workdesk again soon! It's a bit difficult with my life being in cardboard boxes right now!

Living away from my husband:- As I posted earlier, my husband and I are apart, we have relocated and as I have the steady job, I am stuck here, working to pay the ruddy bills. He has a job there, but he is waiting to start. I am also living with my parents, which is fine, it's actually quite nice being in my childhood home once more, but obviously I feel like I am in the way.

Money:- This is the big one! I am always stressed about money!

Well this is all I can think of for now.

Sunday, a day of rest.

Sunday is here! I have a day off, on a Sunday! Rarity.

Feeling pretty work-hungover this morning, I worked a 13.5 Hour shift yesterday, and I have done two other 13.5 shifts, and a 8 hour shift this week. I have to get over it though, today is my only day off, and then I am in 8 hours a day for the next five days. That is relative luxury for a shift worker.

Oh, BTW I call it a work-hangover, because you feel tired, irritable, headachy, and sick. Pretty much a hangover, right? I was watching some self help and awareness videos, regarding fatigue and driving with fatitgue for shift workers. It's actually amazing to think of the mental and physical strain some of my colleagues go through for work. I find it biazarre to kill yourself for your career. Perhaps that is just me, I am not really into Healthcare, I didn't train as a doctor or nurse, and I am not planning... I am not going to be in it long term.

Having said that, it does make you appreiciate your days off a little bit more! It is rather a bitch though, trying to live a normal life, you have to plan your banking phonecalls, job interviews, appointments, everything, around your shifts. The perfect example of which, is the fact that I have an interview on Thursday, which I am not going to miss out on, but I am scheduled for a shift that afternoon. No one will swap with me and they are short staffed, so I don't know how that is going to work?! I guess I just have to take the risk, and see if I get back on time.

I will see my Husband briefly, on Wednesday night, because I am driving home, and staying there the night, so that I can be nice and refreshed for the interview on Thursday. I will be back there on the 10th (next Sunday) I have that off too, woohoo! I am hitching a ride with the in-laws when they go to inspect our new living arrangements. I still need to go to their house and gather up the rest of our toot.

Doctors appointment tomorrow, as my blood test results came back normal, so I am going to ask if my symptoms are caused by stress. I have an enlarged thyroid, with scattered nodules, and they have done loads of blood tests and what not to ascertain whether or not I have thyroid disease. I don't, according to the results, but I still feel pretty shit, and the sisters at work have told me to see my GP for stress.  I am not surprised if it is stress, I have had a pretty crap time of it all recently, I will go into more detail about that later.

As far as things going in the right direction, I am looking forward to my interview on the 7th, that will hopefully enable me to be with my husband again. The good old NHS normally get back to you that day if you got the job. I have also started to look at my French course this week, we officially started yesterday, but I had given myself a few days to prepare. I am a little daunted though, my French is terrible, and I have suddenly realised I can't bluff my way through this course. It means I actually have to work hard this year, and I really really need to practice, alot!

Bye for now, I am sure I will be back again soon.

Trollbyt

~Living apart

So I am copying and pasting this, I originally posted it on Friday evening in a tired haze. I realised today that I created a new blog which served the same purpose as this one here.

Friday 01 Feb 2013.

It's a week tomorrow since my husband and I moved out of his parents house. Sadly the move came at a rather awkward time for us, but you have to take chances. We have moved 100 miles away, and he has a job in the new town. I don't, and as a result, I am stuck back in essex working away the hours.

I am staying with my parents whilst I still have a job in essex, it's still an hour drive to work though. Hooray. I luckily have an interview in the new town this week, it's going to be tough to fit it around my shifts, but like I said you have to take chances. The first week hasn't been too bad, but we have spoken on the phone nearly everyday, ironing out the creases of the new home. I actually have appreciated being really busy, as it has helped to keep my mind off of the distance.

I have work again tomorrow, then one day off, and then five in. I miss the housewarming, I also miss the cleaning up which is good at least. I hope to be in the new house by the end of March, but we will see how it goes.

In addition I started my 2nd year French course this week, only this year and next until I have my degree. :)

I will keep updating this, for myself, as I doubt anyone else is interested in my rather boring life.